By Dr. Goodman
I often find myself reflecting on the idea that everything in life is interconnected. This isn't just a philosophical statement—it's a truth that reveals itself in our relationships, choices, and even our struggles. One recent story with a client brought this concept to life in a way I’ll never forget.
The Client Who Needed to See the Overlap
Let’s call him Mike. Mike is a chronic relapsing alcoholic. His life was a series of starts and stops—getting sober, relapsing, and starting the cycle again. Recently, he called me, voice tinged with regret, to share that he’d gone to Las Vegas. For anyone familiar with the scene, you can probably guess what happened next. Mike drank. He’d been working hard to stay sober, yet in an environment that didn’t support his goals, his resolve crumbled.
As he described the trip, I asked him, “What did you think was going to happen?” He paused. “I don’t know. I didn’t think it would go like this.” This exchange reminded me how often we all fall into this trap. We enter situations where our environment, emotions, or habits pull us away from what we truly want. For Mike, it wasn’t just about alcohol; it was about recognizing the interconnectedness of his choices, his triggers, and his long-term vision for himself.
Seeing the Bigger Picture
The truth is, Mike’s (not real name) story isn’t unique. Whether it’s addiction, procrastination, or toxic relationships, the patterns in our lives are often shaped by layers of overlapping influences. To address these issues, we need to see the connections: the choices we make, the environments we place ourselves in, and the goals we set (or fail to set).
For Mike, it wasn’t just about avoiding bars or alcohol; it was about restructuring his life. We began to tackle the issue by breaking it down into manageable steps:
Identify the Overlap: Mike needed to see how his actions (like going to Las Vegas) overlapped with his struggles. The people he was with were drinking, the city was filled with temptation, and his inner dialogue wasn’t aligned with his goal of sobriety.
Align Actions with Values: I asked Mike to define what truly mattered to him. He said, “I want to be someone my kids can look up to.” That became his north star—the value we would anchor his actions to moving forward.
Create a Supportive Environment: We discussed how he could build a life where temptation wasn’t constantly in his face. For Mike, this meant choosing destinations and social circles that aligned with his goal of sobriety.
Practice Self-Compassion: Perhaps the hardest part for Mike was forgiving himself. He felt like a failure. I reminded him that growth isn’t linear and that every stumble is an opportunity to learn. “What matters,” I told him, “is not that you fell but that you’re willing to get back up.”
Applying the Lessons to Your Life
Mike’s journey is a powerful example of how everything is connected. And while his story centers on alcoholism, the lessons apply to all of us. Maybe for you, it’s staying in a job you hate because it’s comfortable. Or perhaps it’s clinging to a routine that’s holding you back. Whatever it is, here are some steps to start making changes:
Get Honest About What Isn’t Working: What’s the one thing in your life you know doesn’t serve you? Write it down. Reflect on how it impacts other areas of your life.
Define Your Values: What truly matters to you? Maybe it’s family, creativity, or health. Use these values as a compass.
Build a Supportive Framework: Surround yourself with people, places, and habits that align with your goals. Don’t set yourself up for failure.
Embrace Growth Over Perfection: Change isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being persistent. Allow yourself to grow, stumble, and rise again.
The Overlap in All of Us
Mike’s story continues, and I’m proud to say he’s still fighting for his sobriety. He’s beginning to understand how everything in his life—his choices, his environment, and his mindset—is connected. And as he works through it, I’m reminded that the same is true for all of us. The overlap is always there, whether we see it or not.
So, as you move through today, ask yourself: What connections in your life are shaping your decisions? Are they serving you? If not, what can you do to change them?
If you’re ready to start untangling the patterns and rewriting your story, I’m here to help. Coaching isn’t just about fixing problems; it’s about empowering you to live your best life. Let’s uncover the overlap together.
Visit www.goodmanfactor.com to schedule your free 30-minute discovery call. Your journey to living your goodest life starts now.
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